July 27, 2023
This is simply too sick a person ever, ever to get well. There's no point being ugly.
Sometimes you just have to save yourself, leave them there, and move on.
When a person can't/won't grab the fucking life preserver, sometimes you just have to let them drown. The alternative is drowning yourself. If I had said yes back in 2017, maybe it might have had a different outcome, just like this other case I was writing about here lately, BUT, it was just more involvement than I was comfortable with, and there was no guarantee. There are plenty of transits coming up for a problematic relationship because this person leaves but still doesn’t get well. Who needs that? Not I, said the little red hen. What’s the point of trying to change someone who just doesn’t have the stuff? For a long time I believed he did have the stuff, but look. He’s going to be 65. He doesn’t. I have a lot of transits coming up for being fully healed. Well … I’ve got to take that back, because this person does, too. What path we take is truly up to us. When you leave that path up to your daughter who still views you with the eyes of a tiny child … well, what’s the chances of a tiny child being mature enough to be healthy? At age three? Do you want a three-year-old directing your life? I mean, it’s one thing when they desperately need you because they ARE three. But in this society, we’ve got a bunch of emotional three-year-olds running things. They want to reelect a criminal dictator who tried to overthrow the country because they are emotionally three years old and still see him as The Great WHITE Father. We do not believe that parents should choose marriage partners for children anymore. Why do we still believe that children should choose who parents stay married to? If it isn’t okay for a parent to decide who a child marries, why is it okay for a child to choose who a parent marries??? Yet, we do it all the time. In nursing homes, people who fall in love and want to marry can’t do it because the “adult” children won’t let them. When an adult keeps a child from growing up emotionally healthy and mature, we consider that horrible. When an adult child keeps a PARENT from finally growing up emotionally healthy and mature, isn’t that horrible, too? Oh, well, no debating of this is really necessary. I’m not involved, it’s not my problem, and I’ll never see this person again anyway. This person has kicked the can so far down the road it’s now literally in the cemetery. I’m not interested in that.
Dear Idiot: THIS IS AN ILLNESS. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTING IT, NOT DROWNING IN IT. GRAB THE LIFE PRESERVER BEFORE YOU DIE THIS WAY. IT'S CALLED, "CODEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS."
Oh, well, too late. This person will never change. Well, there I am being harsh again. Oh, well. It doesn’t matter anyway. He’s never coming back anyhow.